Cyclist? Really?

Oh wow. Oregon is beautiful. I feel like every time we climb a mountain or go around a corner I should see a pirate ship sailing on the horizon and I am in a scene from Peter Pan or something. Rocky cliffs, green conifers, huge ocean, the sky tossing clouds and fog and sun all down the coast... I have been down the 101 through this area before, but it feels a lot different this time around.

But enough of the touchy- feely stuff. Today I would like to address the topic of what makes a cyclist a cyclist. I am wondering because I do not feel like a cyclist, but I am constantly being referred to as one in street signs, our route guide, and by other bike riders. Is it our spandex? Is it the clipless pedal thing? Is it because we look like huge idiots in our helmets? For the record, I would like to say I do not consider myself a cyclist because in my expert non-cyclist opinion a true cyclist would

• not be too lazy to change gears
• be able to successfully blow a snot rocket while riding and avoid splattering snot all over their own thigh, cheek, or shoulder
• be able to drink water through a camel back hose and breathe simultaneously without, again, splattering snot all over their own thigh, cheek, or shoulder
• take their fingerless gloves off while not riding instead of keeping them on because when else, aside from being Cyndi Lauper for Halloween, do you get to wear fingerless gloves?
  

• never look like I do in this photo

• probably not talk to themselves on long downhills

• have used their clipless pedals for longer than a week before they embarked on a 2,000 mile tour of the Pacific Coast
• most likely not eat sour patch kids at every possible break in a day

Don't get me wrong, I would like to one day be able to call myself a cyclist, but for now I prefer... bike rider? Yeah, Christina the bike rider. Glad we cleared that up.